The couple has sent the save-the-date, the bridesmaids already know their color, and someone has asked what you are wearing. Three things settle most of it: the length the invitation asks for, a color that sits near the wedding palette, and how much of your arms you want covered for the ceremony. Size comes last, and it is the easiest part once those three are clear.
Let the invitation choose the length
Black tie on an invitation means a gown to the floor, full stop. Formal or black tie optional leaves you a choice between a floor-length gown and a maxi that stops at the ankle. Cocktail and semi-formal point to a midi, somewhere between the knee and the middle of the calf.
Time of day matters almost as much as the words. An evening ceremony in a ballroom carries a long gown easily, even if the invitation only says formal. A morning church service followed by a garden lunch looks better in a maxi or a high-low hem, which keeps the front clear of the grass and the back long for the photos.
When the wording is vague, ask the couple. Nobody wants to guess on the one day where every family member is photographed next to everyone else, and the answer usually takes a single text message.
Pick a color that sits beside the palette
Start from the colors the couple chose and step one shade away from the bridesmaids. If they are in sage, a deeper emerald or a dusty blue stands next to them without looking like a missed fitting. White and ivory stay with the bride, and so do very pale champagnes that read as ivory under a camera flash.
Navy, dusty blue, champagne, burgundy and emerald come up again and again on mother of the bride dresses for good reason. Each one is dark or warm enough to hold its color in evening photos, and each sits comfortably next to most wedding palettes.
Call the other mother before you order. Two mothers in the same navy look planned, two in slightly different navies look like an accident, and a two-minute conversation settles which of you takes which shade.
Sleeves, capes and jackets
Some churches expect covered shoulders, and plenty of receptions end up in a cold tent after sunset. You have three ways to cover up without a shawl slipping off all evening.
- A matching jacket. It covers your shoulders for the ceremony and comes off at the reception, leaving a sleeveless dress for dancing.
- A cape sleeve. A soft layer falls from the shoulder over the upper arm and moves when you do, so hugging and waving never pulls at a seam.
- Flutter or long lace sleeves. Flutter sleeves cover the top of the arm lightly, and a long lace sleeve reaches the wrist for a fall or winter wedding.
Whichever you choose, lift both arms in front of a mirror as if you were straightening the groom's tie. If the bodice rises or the sleeve pulls across your back, try the next size before the day.
Fabric that holds up under flash and a long dinner
Most mother of the bride styles on our shelves are 100 percent polyester chiffon, polyester with 10 percent spandex, or a nylon and spandex blend. Chiffon is light and moves on the walk down the aisle, but it has no stretch. A blend with spandex gives a little across the waist, which you will be grateful for three courses into the reception.
Sequins catch the light at an evening wedding and make a long dress feel like an occasion on their own. For a daytime ceremony, a plain chiffon or a lace bodice reads quieter next to the couple.
Check for a lining under Details on the product page. A lined bodice keeps camera flash from showing through thin chiffon, and it smooths the line of the dress in the formal portraits that end up framed on someone's wall.
Getting the size and the length right
Measure your bust, waist and hips with a soft tape, then stand in the shoes you will wear and measure from the top of your shoulder to the floor. Keep that last number handy: it tells you whether a floor-length gown will skim the floor or pool around your feet.
Our plus sizes are written with a W and run from 14W to 28W on most mother of the bride styles. If you fall between two sizes, choose by the part of the dress that cannot stretch. On a chiffon bodice that is your bust. On a fitted skirt without spandex it is your hips.
Order early enough for a second size to arrive and for a hem to be taken up if you need one. A gown that shows up the week of the wedding leaves no room for either.
A short checklist before you order
- Read the dress code on the invitation and ask the couple if it is unclear.
- Get the wedding colors and the bridesmaids' exact shade.
- Agree on colors with the other mother.
- Decide between a jacket, a cape sleeve or a long sleeve for the ceremony.
- Measure bust, waist, hips and shoulder to floor in your wedding shoes.
- Check the fabric line for spandex and Details for a lining.
- Order with enough time for a second size or a hem.
Unsure about a size, a fabric or a wash? Write to occasion@pin-up-fashion.com and the people at Pinup Fashion will answer.